Don't judge me.........

Five years.
It's been five years since I've  posted anything on here. It doesn't come as a surprise to me. I've never been the best at following through on things.......Procrastination runs deep in my veins, the "bane" of my existence. How many unfinished projects? Books? Plans? Ideas? Goals? When I was younger, this quality bothered me. But, did it really bother me, or was I too worried about how it would look to others around me?

Aaaahhhhh, yes. I think I'm onto something.

I accept it. It's just a part of my personality, and while others more OCD or driven might see it as a "weakness", a "fault", something necessary to change in order for me to have a "happier" life, I see it as a mellow acceptance that I just don't worry about the small shit. (Excuse my language...another one of my many faults that I have learned to accept and attempt to temper.....unsuccessfully as just witnessed!)

I'm 50 years old. I can do what I want, and I don't care what others think. It's nice to have people like me, but in the same breath if they don't, I figure it's their loss. Not mine. Seriously, it's their loss. I don't NEED to have anyone like me. It's nice when they do, but it's not necessary for my overall survival.

I strive to be kind, and encouraging and friendly to small children, the elderly, and animals. I strive to be a loving wife, good mother and supportive friend. I strive to pay my bills on time, be a law abiding citizen and attempt to contribute some goodness to society. I even let people with fewer items in their carts have cuts in front of me at the grocery check out. So, in the long run, it really is no big deal that I haven't written on this blog for over six years, haven't lost that 50 pounds I said I'd lose, or haven't mopped my floors or dusted in...well....quite some time, cause I've been having too much fun living life. 

I've been: watching my daughter grow into the most excellent young woman that she is; figuring out and discovering how much fun it is to be a "couple" again with the spouse now that previously mentioned child is just about ready to fly the coop and the empty nest is upon us; getting back into women's bible study and hearing The Gospel with my heart; and, finding that I have a blog that I totally spaced out about! 

I don't want to worry about the small shit; when I write/when I don't write; how dusty my floors are/who's going to notice; what to eat/what not to eat; losing weight/not losing weight; what someone might think of me when I type "shit".....

to be continued......again.....maybe in another five years, maybe sooner....who knows?

Ponderings whilst driving on a rainy day

Silence.

Most of the way up to Olympia was silent, until the following random, or not so random, pondering:

"You know, Mom, the USA is a lot like Israel."

"Really? How do you figure?"

"Well, Israel never really acknowledged God's blessing on their nation...well, I mean, as a whole. There were some people that were faithful, but as a whole, the nation of Israel did not appreciate what God did for them. I mean, that's why they had to stay in the desert with Moses for so long, right?"

"Right."

"Well, the USA is the same way. Too many people don't appreciate Him in this nation and all that He's done for us. They moan and groan, just like the Hebrews, and some don't even acknowledge Him at all!"

"Yes."

"So, we're just like Israel. Nothing ever changes. We haven't learned anything and are making the same mistakes they did way back then."

"Yes, indeed. There is nothing new under the sun. But, don't forget the remnant. Even in Moses' day, there was always a remnant. Do you know what that means?"

"Ummm...sort of...well....not really."

"Well, God told Elijah when he was down and out that there was a remnant, a group of true and faithful believers that would support Him. That is the remnant. Even today, in America, there is a remnant. So, yes, while a vast portion of the USA hasn't learned or acknowledged God's blessings on our nation, there is and always will be a remnant who gets it."

"Hey! That's us!"

"Yep!"

I love the way the way her brain works. Lord, help me guide that blessed brain in Your ways.

A new start on the Wii train

Today I started an exercise routine. Simple enough...right?

Riiighhht.

But, when I contemplate what seems to be an insurmountable amount of weight to lose, and get discouraged with the fact that I have gotten away from myself, it doesn't seem so "simple". However, in the middle of my routine, when I thought, "I am going to die", the Holy Spirit gently prompted me with this verse:

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls." (Hebrews 12:1-3 NKJV)

I'm sure when Paul wrote Hebrews he wasn't thinking of Deanna and her weight issues! I'm pretty sure he didn't say to himself, "this one is for that middled aged lady named Deanna, about ready to give up on her Wii Biggest Loser workout routine". However, the amazing thing about God's word is that it applies to life, as you experience it now. And, in various different aspects and applications at different times! This passage has sustained me many times when dealing with other life battles and it most certainly applies to starting my Biggest Loser Wii fitness exercise routine. I will consider "Him" when I'm sweating, and shaking, and aching, and moaning, and groaning, because that is just what needs to be done. God has been gracious in granting me a clean bill of health certificate, but the warning signs are there that the expiration date is nearing. I need to take action. Period.

As stated earlier: this journey is definitely going to be continued! Glad to have you along for the ride!

Lazy Sundays

I love days like today. After a very tiring and busy week, I informed Emily we would be staying home today, not going anywhere...including church. Now, I don't like making it a habit of skipping church, but I could not bring myself to get behind the wheel of the van one more time. We all slept in. I managed to bake muffins, clean up the garden, play with the piggies and dogs, make pizza for dinner, and chocolate mousse for dessert. John was able to watch his football games, I got to cook and Emily just enjoyed being a lazy kid for a day.

Even though we missed church and the pie social, it was a wonderful, family day of rest.

Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen (Romans 15:33)

My first huckleberry/blueberry lattice topped pie attempt! It was yummy!

What do I do now?

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but never seem to find the time...or courage to actually begin the process. I don't have much to say right now, which doesn't represent my user name very well. But, I have a chicken in the oven, clothes to fold, a shower to take, and a child to pick up from school and chauffeur to dance.

I shall just say...

...to be continued.