Don't judge me.........

Five years.
It's been five years since I've  posted anything on here. It doesn't come as a surprise to me. I've never been the best at following through on things.......Procrastination runs deep in my veins, the "bane" of my existence. How many unfinished projects? Books? Plans? Ideas? Goals? When I was younger, this quality bothered me. But, did it really bother me, or was I too worried about how it would look to others around me?

Aaaahhhhh, yes. I think I'm onto something.

I accept it. It's just a part of my personality, and while others more OCD or driven might see it as a "weakness", a "fault", something necessary to change in order for me to have a "happier" life, I see it as a mellow acceptance that I just don't worry about the small shit. (Excuse my language...another one of my many faults that I have learned to accept and attempt to temper.....unsuccessfully as just witnessed!)

I'm 50 years old. I can do what I want, and I don't care what others think. It's nice to have people like me, but in the same breath if they don't, I figure it's their loss. Not mine. Seriously, it's their loss. I don't NEED to have anyone like me. It's nice when they do, but it's not necessary for my overall survival.

I strive to be kind, and encouraging and friendly to small children, the elderly, and animals. I strive to be a loving wife, good mother and supportive friend. I strive to pay my bills on time, be a law abiding citizen and attempt to contribute some goodness to society. I even let people with fewer items in their carts have cuts in front of me at the grocery check out. So, in the long run, it really is no big deal that I haven't written on this blog for over six years, haven't lost that 50 pounds I said I'd lose, or haven't mopped my floors or dusted in...well....quite some time, cause I've been having too much fun living life. 

I've been: watching my daughter grow into the most excellent young woman that she is; figuring out and discovering how much fun it is to be a "couple" again with the spouse now that previously mentioned child is just about ready to fly the coop and the empty nest is upon us; getting back into women's bible study and hearing The Gospel with my heart; and, finding that I have a blog that I totally spaced out about! 

I don't want to worry about the small shit; when I write/when I don't write; how dusty my floors are/who's going to notice; what to eat/what not to eat; losing weight/not losing weight; what someone might think of me when I type "shit".....

to be continued......again.....maybe in another five years, maybe sooner....who knows?